StumblingFillies

  “Jussa seconn,” She slurred and held up a finger before she changed the remaining red wine. “Ok, Im ready t' order now.  Firzz, 'nuzzer boll uhf wine, pleeeze,” she said when her glass was empty. “Second, Id like the surloin tit..tip, medium rare.” Ever the professional, the waiter simply asked, “And your sides?” “Corn ann sweed potado.” “And you sir?”, he asked. “The 20oz Ribeye, Medium rare, corn and sweet potato, please,” you promptly answer him. “Ok. I’ll get these right in and get you another bottle of wine,” he says as he leaves. Once he's gone, you say to your girlfriend, “I think your a little drunk, Tits.” She smiles, “I am nod. bud my tiss arr.  Prolly why i said tit t' the waiter stedda tip.  I neeeda gow t' the basssroom,” she responded. As she stood, quite unsteadily, you ask, “Need any help?” “Nooo, ill be ok,” she said as she started for the ladies room. She’d not made it past you when she started to fall. However she corrected by ...

Susie Anna had a severe case of writer's block. Usually, all it took her was a bottle of Jack Daniels and some Weed and the words would flow. But in the summer heat of her remote bungalow, Susie Anna had found herself at a loss for words several days now, despite getting high and drunk. She hoped today would be different as she lit a joint and poured a shot listening to the radio. It was just 10 am, and the radio said it was already 90, and would likely reach 100 by afternoon. In some ways Susie Anna was glad to be drinking, it would help her deal with the heat in her unair-conditioned bungalow. The weed was starting to hit her when the radio announced that since it was July 25 and so hot, they were going to Celebrate Christmas in July and play Christmas music for a while. They started with "White Christmas". It sure didn't feel like it, she thought as she poured her second whiskey. As the song wrapped up, she poured a third whiskey, and then started into "Baby i...

With blasted babes down and hopefully not out for good, I've decided to start this as somewhere to post my IF creations. 1230123