Christmas in July

Susie Anna had a severe case of writer's block. Usually, all it took her was a bottle of Jack Daniels and

some Weed and the words would flow. But in the summer heat of her remote bungalow, Susie Anna had

found herself at a loss for words several days now, despite getting high and drunk. She hoped today

would be different as she lit a joint and poured a shot listening to the radio. It was just 10 am, and the

radio said it was already 90, and would likely reach 100 by afternoon. In some ways Susie Anna was glad

to be drinking, it would help her deal with the heat in her unair-conditioned bungalow. The weed was

starting to hit her when the radio announced that since it was July 25 and so hot, they were going to

Celebrate Christmas in July and play Christmas music for a while. They started with "White Christmas".

It sure didn't feel like it, she thought as she poured her second whiskey. As the song wrapped up, she

poured a third whiskey, and then started into "Baby its cold outside. " She continued to smoke and drink.

As she Poured a 4th whiskey, they played "Santa Clause is cumming to town." “Santa, that was it!” She

thought,  "Aletter to Santa was something she could write!" She might be 18, which was really too old to

write Santa, but it WAS something to write. Still puffing on her weed infused cirigret, she left her whisky

untoched, and began to type on her typewriter.

Dear Santa,

Hope yoo arr doin grade! Iss been a long timme since I lazz wrote.  I havve been a gooond girl,

only sometimes naughdy. Cernnly ann angel wenn sober. Though recennly, thass nod been too often.

I'm a bit titsy ann high azz i write thiss ledder t' yoo, azz i've been sufferin frum writer's

block. 

She stopped here for another sip of whiskey and to puff on her joint, which she’d gotten at the awards

banquet. As she smoked, her right bra strap slid off her right shoulder and her pantys hid in her pants,

her plumbers crack visible, as she reviewed her letter so far.

She realized that she was making a lot of mistakes due to how high and drunk she was, but she made

no attempt to fix them, just happy to again be writing. Cigaret in mouth, she turned around, to turn the

radio up as they began playing "Frosty the snowman." Then she adjusted her white lace bra; as soon as

she got the right strap in place, the left slid off her shoulder, and she had to brace herself to stay upwrite,

as she swayed like an evergreen in a blizzard.

Another sip of jack, and she turned and resumed writing.

It starred wenn i won several awards ad the writers associashun awards banqued, ann got wasded thad not silent night. Since thenn, thiss Ledder is the firzz i've been able t' write, despite genn zzzrunk ann high frequennly. I thing yoo'll agree sanna, genn high ann zzzrunk shunnn pud me onna naughdy lizz. Yoo see, sanna, genn zzzrunk ann high is juzz necessary fer the creative procezz.  I'll annmit, it wuzzin necessary fer me t' ged sooo zzzrunk ann high ad the awards banqued.  I havve myself t' blame.  I shose t' wear a fancy silk zzrezz, bud it wuz sooo low cut inna back ann fronn, i cuddent wear unnerwear.  Thad made me feel naughdy ann nervous, it wuz sooo shord ann fancy.  Sooo i had several glasses uhf wine before i caught the cab frum the hotel.  Thenn, ad the evenn, the weed ann champaign where flowin', ann wiss my nerves, welll, i smoked ann zzrank.  Thenn i won the firzz award.  Sooo i celebraded wiss shoss uhf voddka.  By the timme the big award came 'round, ihwuzz zzzrunk ann high.  Thenn i won it! sooo thenn the pardy really began.  I doan 'member mush affer thad, buddiff it wuz naught, it wuzza gooond wayssed kinn.

She took a long drag of her cigarette, and another sip of JD. Then she continued:

I really hope im nod on yer naught lizz thiss yeer sanna.  Im jussa gooond girl whoo likes t' write ssories, ann tenns t' ged zzzrunk ann high in doin' sooo.  Pleeeze f'rgive my typin', im zzzrunk ann high ride now. Pleeeze f'rgive my typin', i'm zzzrunk ann high ride now.  It feels sooo gooond, 'specially now'at i'm writin', eeven iff iss jussa ledder t' sanna. 

Sooo fer chrissmas, i'd liyke t' ass yoo fer ideas fer more ssory's, ann iff iss nod stoo mush trouble, lossa booze ann weed. I will ged zzzrunk ann high fer chrissmas regardlezz, bud i doo hope yoo brin' me somethin' speshul. XXOO

Innoxicatedly yours,

With that, she gleefully stood. She swayed like the bells on Santa's slay, and then triumphantly grabbed the Jack Daniels bottle. She poured a generous amount into her glass, and drank. She filled it once more, and then staggered about about the room, before removing the paper from the typewriter and sitting to the right of it to read her letter, her left bra strap now falling to nearly her elbow, as she bent it and sipped the whiskey.

At first, the intoxicated young writer was pleased, she'd broken her writer's block. However, as her slightly blurred vision made it over the page, she became frustrated-her writing was so messed up; And who ever heard of an adult woman writing to Santa? A drunk and high one, that's who, she realized as she crumpled the paper, in frustration. 

Susie Anna fixed her bra, and stood to get another joint. She swayed and staggered as if fighting  a blizzard as she searched her hot bedroom in the summer heat for a lighter. Once she got one, she struggled to light her joint and then took a long drag. She poured another glass of whiskey, and drank most of it before laying down on the bed, legs resting on the chair with the typewriter, and un-crumpled the letter. 

The room began to swirl like snowflakes. Then she decided "Yes she was drunk and high, but she was an adult, and she loved it! And hopefully Santa would too!" And thus she resolved she would send the letter to Santa. She sat up, drained her whiskey, and sat it on the typewriter beside the whiskey bottle. She was even drunker and higher now, but she threaded the paper into the typewriter, and retyped the letter, with even more mistakes, but she was too messed up to notice or care. 

Dear Santa,

Hope yoo arr doin grade!I am! Iss veen a longg timme since I lazz wrote. I havve been a gooond girl, only sometimes Naughdy. Cernnly ann Angel wenn ssober. Though recennly, thass nod been too often. :) I'm sssrunk ann high azz fuck ass i write thiss ledder 2 yoo:) i've been sufferin frum writer's block :(

It starred wenn i won several awards ad the writers associashun awards banqued, ann got wasded thad nod silenn night:) Since then, thiss Ledder is the firzz i've been able 2 write, despite genn zzzrunk ann high frequ..often. I thing yoo'll agree Sanna, genn high ann zzzrunk shunnn pud me onna naughdy lizz. Yoo see, Sanna, genn zzzrunk ann high is juzz necessary fer da creative procezz. I'll annmit, it wuzzin necessary fer me 2 ged sooo zzzrunk ann high ad the awards banqued. I havve myself 2 blame. I shose 2 wear a fancy silk zzrezz, bud it wuz sooo low cut inna back ann fronn, i cuddent wear unnerwear! Thad made me feel naughdy ann nervous, it wuz sooo shord ann fancy. Sooo i had several glasses uhf wine before i caught the cab frum the hotel. Thenn, ad the evenn, the weed ann champaign where flowin', ann wiss my nerves, welll, i smoked ann zzrank. Thenn i won the firzz award! Sso i celebraded wiss shoss uhf voddka! By the timme the big award came 'round, ihwuzz zzzrunk ann high. Thenn i won it! sooo thenn the pardy really began. I doan 'member mush affer thad, buddiff it wuz naughtie, it wuzza gooond wayssed kinn.

I really hope im nod on yer naught lizz thiss yeer Sanna. Im jussa gooond girl whoo likes 2 write ssories, ann tenns 2 ged zzzrunk ann high in doin' sooo.  Pleeeze f'rgive my typin', im fuggin' wayssed ride now. Pleeeze f'rgive my typin', i'm sooo fffucked up ride now.  It feels sooo gooond, 'specially now'at i'm writin', eeven iff iss jussa ledder 2 Sanna. 

Sooo fer Chrissmas, i'd liyke 2 ass yoo fer ideas fer more ssory's, ann iff iss nod stoo mush trouble, lossa booze ann lossa weed and booze. I will ged zzzrunk ann high fer chrissmas regardlezz, bud i doo hope yoo brin' me somethin' speshul ;) XXXOO0

Sooo Innoxicatedly yours,

P. S.  Few brin' booze ann weed, brin' ssrong ssuff.  I'll be zzzrinkin' ann smokin' waitin' fer yoo on Chrissmas eve!

Happy, she carefully removed the letter and folded it. She then drank the last of the Jack Daniels whiskey from the bottle, and fell back onto the bed, clutching the letter to her bosom with her right hand.

Her left hand meanwhile found its way into her trousers, and began to rub her pussy. Susie Anna imagined Santa visiting her, as she passed out.

The end.