April Fool

 

She was such a fool, she realized as she leaned against the door jamb. She’d thought she’d surprise her husband for his birthday. Great him at home with a nice dinner and wine in sexy lingerie. But, then he called and said he'd be late. So she told him to call when he was on his way home. A couple hours and bottles later, he still had not called. With a sinking feeling, she called an uber and put on a coat. She drank a couple of nibs in the back seat. By the time she reached the office, she was wasted. In turn, she forgot her phone. Then, she found her husband plowing his assistant in his office. “Yoo fuggin' bassard.  Happy fuggin' birthday!” she’d slurred at her husband, as she undid her coat.

“Yah, he's a gooond fffuck bud youll haffta wait yer turn t' fffuck the birthday boy,” his assistant slurred. 

“Sorry April, but it's my birthday, and I couldn't refuse Robin’s gift,” her husband told his wife.

“Yah, welll yoo c'n juzz keep yer slut, ann i'll gift yoo divorce papers,” April yelled. She grabbed a bottle of booze from his liquor cabinet and stormed out, drinking as she went. By the time she reached the street, it was empty. As the influx of booze hit her, she had the realization, Happy April Fools day!