Mom

 Your step mom was drunk and stoned, and it wasn’t even 7am yet. So wasted she could barely keep her eyes open, and her tits had fallen out her shirt. You had to wonder when the last time her mug had actually held just coffee, no alcohol. Regardless, you figured it was time to upgrade her to a “World’s Greatest Mom” mug, that would never see coffee without alcohol. 

“Oh, hi sweetie,” she said before she emptied her mug and sat it down with a thud. 

“Morning mom, would you like me to get you another cup?,” you ask.

“Thad wooud be grade sweetie” she slurs. As you pick it up, she says, “c'n yoo be a dear ann pud a li'l wiskey in it?”

“No problem.” As you made her whiskey with a splash of coffee, the way you knew she liked it, she asked, “Yoo wann me t' dribe yoo t' sshool today sweetie?”

“Mom, it's Sunday-Mothers Day. There’s no school. Besides, you're wasted, you can't drive.”

“Oh, gooond.  I coud dribe, bud i'd razzer nod.  Way minnn, yoo said iss mozzers day? dizz you ged me a presenn?”

“Yah, mom. Some weed.”

“Oh, yoo wonnerful boy.  Whass it called?”

“Take off your shirt.”

“Yoo naughdy boy.  Gooond thin' yer fauzzer is outa town on bussinezz ann im really yer shtep-mom,” she slurred as she removed her shirt, and sagged over to you.

“No, really mom, the strain is called take off you shirt. Not that I’m complaining,” you say after she kisses you. She pulls away, takes her coffee, and drinks it down. 

“Oh, ok.  Pack me a bowl?,” she asks as she refills her coffee cup with whiskey. You take a bong and do as asked, lighting it for her. 

A couple bowls of weed and cups of whiskey later, your step mom is lit. She’s taken off her pants, and can barely stand.

Your cock is rock hard. Through her tunnel vision, she notices. “Loose liyke yoo havve 'nuzzer presenn fer mom,” she slurs as she pulls your stiff member out. She drops to her knees, and begins to suck, as the bong sits on the floor.

Yep, “world's greatest mom”, you think to yourself.